Memories of Mom

My mom is an amazing woman. During her life, she has been sweet and loving, thoughtful and kind, spunky and irritating, but now she is old and tired. She is still all those wonderful things, but it is just really sad to see the real her going away a little bit at a time. My mom is 90 and has lived a very productive and happy life, except for the part where my dad died 20 years ago and left her to do this last part alone. She has lived from riding a horse to school, no TV or even telephones in every home, to the boom of the age of information & technology and all that entails. She never did really figure out how to use a computer, but she appreciated that her children could master such mysteries. She gloried in the achievements of her children and grandchildren, basked in the associations of good family and friends, trudged thru the hard times with a positive attitude and demonstrated the "endure to the end" as best she could. The "end" is swiftly approaching, but she is still giving it her all and we are all blessed for having been loved by her.

My dad loved her. It was simple and pure and they argued and frustrated each other just like all married couples, but I always knew how much they adored each other. Mom always felt so blessed that dad would love a fat girl. Mom would never start her meal before dad got there - the kids could eat, but she would wait to share hers with him. It didn't matter how late he got in from whatever he was doing. When he needed a lunch in the fields, she always put on the whole spread - not just a sandwich and a drink. They never slept in separate rooms or separate beds. The night dad died, I went and spent the night with mom and slept in her bed, so she wouldn't be alone that night. It was probably for me as much as for her; I didn't get to say goodbye to him - he went too fast - at least mom got to hold his hand one more time before he passed. He respected all women, but most of all mom. He never let the girls be around when he had indelicate farm stuff to do. He had to let mom help occasionally when there was no one else who could. She made endless trips to town for parts and farm necessities, and waited endless hours in the car while he did farm business. He was a hard worker and provided for our family to the best of his ability. I never wanted to disappoint him. If I did something wrong, my worst punishment would be to have to tell him what I had done...which mom made me do - for my own good.

They loved to dance together and sing and play and work. We didn't go on vacations together, having cows to milk twice a day was how we survived, but the fun times were plentiful in family dinners and games and memorable activities right at home. They would "go for a drive" and I was blessed to be able to go with them (I don't think I had much choice), but they loved to look at the land and other people's crops and appreciate the bounties the Lord provided to all, friends and neighbors alike. My siblings and their spouses and all those nieces and nephews would come home and we would have wonderful family times. I always wanted to be married, so I would fit into that group...instead of being one of the kids. Ironic, now that I'm finally married to someone who would fit into that group, we live too far away to participate in stuff like that. Each of my brothers & sisters are grandparents now and building their own family memories...the cycle continues.I'm grateful for the life I have been blessed with.

My mom and dad were irreplacable, as all moms and dads should be. Soon she will be with dad again and will be waiting for all of us to join them, so we can have more of those fun family times together. May we all live so we can be together again...as an eternal family. May we continue to teach our little ones (and those not so little anymore) that it is always worth the effort to choose the right, to believe in ourselves and to want to be our best - just like mom and dad.

Thank You

There is NOTHING more frustrating than seeing your child in pain or distress and not being able to actually DO anything for them. We do everything for them for so many years that it is no wonder that sometimes we have a difficult time letting them grow up.

Yet, as I received life and soul saving aid from my dear family when I was younger (how often boggles the mind), I am once again being aided by their generous and loving hearts and hands. I have always felt that I have been a lifter in this life - helping others wherever possible (and I know I have done that for many), yet for some reason, I have always been a leaner on my family to help me thru crisis after crisis in my life. I guess that is what this whole earth existence is all about...love one another...however and whenever possible.

Thank you, yet again, for being there for me and mine. I love you.

from mom to daughter

This one is specifically for my daughter. I'm sorry to drag the rest of you thru this. It's amazing how hard it is to say what's in your heart when you are with each other...mostly because we are both crying so hard we can't speak a word and the noses are running faster than the Waterton River (which really isn't a very fast flowing river, but it never seems to stop).

We spent some wonderful time together last weekend - I'm finally in Canada and got to spend my first weekend here with her. I'm so glad I was able to be there for this important time in her life. Forgiving her dad will be a life long project - until she can actually see him again in the eternities. But I'm so glad she has reached the stage to begin the process. We cried so hard we were both ill the next day, but it was SOOOOO worth it.

Yes, Cathy, you are very much like him. I've been saying those words in my head for many years now, but couldn't say them out loud because you would be completely and totally offended. But God has taken those similar character traits and bent them to shape you into the woman you are today...and will continue to do so until you are refined and ready to stand before Him again.

Thank you for continuing to pick yourself up. Thank you for choosing the right. Thank you for not giving up, even though that is exactly what you wanted to do a million times already in your life. Thank you for having backbone and standing up for what you believe to be true. Thank you for forgiving me. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for still turning to me, even though I live so far away. Thank you for understanding all that, even though it makes your life more difficult.

You are amazing and I am blessed to have you in my life.

Ok, enough blubbering - have a great long weekend everybody.

Lose the Dipper

The Bucket & Dipper Parable
By Mary Ellen Edmunds

Once upon a time it was discovered that everyone has a bucket. No kidding. It’s a bucket which is kind of like a cup, in that it can be filled…even to overflowing. I guess it’s sort of like a source of peace, comfort, love, strength, and such. And the fuller it is, the easier it is to share what’s in the bucket with others.

There are a lot of wonderful ways in which we can put things in each others’ buckets. For example, we can say “Good Morning!” when we see each other. That’s a great way to put something in someone else’s bucket. And you can double the contribution by adding someone’s name – that’s even better. Other things which can fill up a bucket are hugs, listening, sincere praise, pointing out strengths, being appreciative, being sensitive to needs (and doing something about them, when you can), cheerfulness, honesty, patience (almost sounds like a description of THE PURE LOVE OF CHRIST: CHARITY, when you think about it). Anyway, one of the things we all ought to spend time doing is helping to fill others’ buckets.

Now…it must needs be, so they say, that there is opposition in all things. And so, just as we all have a bucket, we all have a dipper. Yup. And sometimes other people can get their dipper in your bucket!! It’s been known to happen.

Just imagine that we’re going out to eat with some friends – nice table cloth and all – first class. Silverware is nice, place is lovely, I’ve just had a bath and I’m feeling good. I am sitting at the table, visiting…and I accidentally knock over my glass of V-8 juice. Big Red Spot!!! I am so embarrassed. I am turning redder than I’m usually red. But the juice just keeps crawling across the table right toward my friend…it’s like a flood…it won’t stop…and then finally it does it - - - it dribbles on her! She jumps a little, but is being nice even though it’s wet and gooey. Then my husband (or wife), old “bright eyes” down the table a little, looks up and says, “You spilt your juice.” HE GOT HIS DIPPER IN MY BUCKET!

Tell me how old you have to be to know you made a mistake…that you’re not yet perfect. Can you ever remember sitting down to breakfast with your family and your little brother spilled his milk? And about 35 people (it seemed) said, “You spilled your milk!” All those great big dippers in that little tiny bucket!

Have you ever noticed that when your bucket is low or empty, when you need most to have someone put something in it…THAT is when you’re most irritable to people? We chase people away when we need them most. We try hard to figure out WHY we run around with our dippers out. We’re busy trying to get our dippers in other people’s buckets – and they don’t want their bucket to have our dipper in it!

This is where the trap is. Have you ever noticed that when you get your dipper in somebody’s bucket…you’re pointing out something WRONG with them? You tell your spouse he’s got wrinkles in his socks…and he hasn’t got ‘em on yet. You tell your friend she’s moody and you find out she’s got a tooth ache or got a sad letter. You tell someone there’s a spot on their face and find out your glasses are dirty. YOU’VE GOT YOUR DIPPER IN SOMEONE ELSE’S BUCKET! It might feel good, sort of, when you first shove your dipper into someone’s bucket, but after awhile, it doesn’t feel good anymore.

Do you know what a DIP-IN is? It’s not exactly like a drive-in or a sit-in…it’s when several get together and just dip someone good! Next time you realize that’s happening, point it out…STOP IT! “Hey, we’ve all got our dippers in this friend’s bucket! Let’s fill it, instead of emptying it!”

Sometimes you say to yourself, “Self, she’s got a lid on her bucket!” Or you may ask, “Hey, does anyone know where I can buy a lid for my bucket?” There are a lot of DIPS around these days. Some may even think they don’t have a bucket! Or you may feel that your bucket’s been shot full of holes.

Well, for SURE, we’re just not the same when our bucket is empty, and that’s all there is to it. AND we’re not the same when we’re dipping instead of filling, and that’s all there is to that, too! My friends keep your dipper out of others’ buckets. FILL their buckets…you’ll discover yours is getting fuller too. Full and overflowing…you’ll have so much, much more to share. It really could be that way. It really CAN be that way. Love One Another. Enrich and Lift and Bless and Fill One Another.

Better late than never...

Well, I guess I am finally going to catch up to my loved ones and start blogging too. I have enjoyed reading all your blogs so much over the past few months. I'm nowhere as witty and interesting as most of you, but felt like I've been way too silent for the past three years since I got married. Now that the "honeymoon" stage is sliding behind us, it seems like a good time.

First I thought I'd explain the title...as with most step-families, we have an interesting mix...two of mine, one of theirs and one of hers. When Tim's 1st wife passed away, his step-son and adopted daughter weren't expecting that he would find a new wife so quickly, but it was finally time for my Mr. Right to become my Mr. Right Now. Now my new motto is "Don't expect Mr. Right to be Mr. Perfect". I assure you, he has definitely discovered that I'm not all sweetness and light...so we are both older and wiser...and much, much happier.