My safe place.

My niece, T, one of the most amazing women in my life asked an interesting question of her readers on her blog...where is your safe place?

I have never thought of the answer to that question before, though I have been there many times in my life. After thinking about it for a few minutes, I think I have decided that it is my bed. As a small child I remember wanting my mom to come sleep with me. It must have been at times when I needed to feel loved or more secure. I would trip into mom and dad's bedroom and ask her to come sleep with me, then when she would refuse, like she always did, I would ask if I could sleep with them. When I was really little, they let me sleep between them. Then as I got older they would pull up the tucked in covers to make room for me at the foot of the bed instead. The night my father passed away (I was 30 by then), I made sure I was there to stay with my mom and sleep with her in her bed - so she wouldn't be alone...on the loneliest day of her life...or so I thought...maybe it was to comfort me too.

When Ted & I were married (in the early years), we would lay on the bed and look out the window and talk for hours. Our first apartment was a basement suite and the bedroom window looked out onto the back side of the landlord's flower beds...green and happy. Not long before Aaron was born, Ted convinced me that he needed his own bedroom. (His parents had separate bedrooms for most of their marriage). The ultimate rejection in my mind.

That's when I started letting Cathy sleep with me on a regular basis...my children became my security. I never turned them away. They both had their own beds, but when they wanted to sleep in my bed, I never turned them away. Even today, my best talks with my children are sitting or relaxing on my bed. We have read stories, laughed, cried, shared our lives in my bed.

After they grew up some, during my single years, I spent many hours reading, crying, watching movies, talking to loved ones on the phone; in my bed.

Now that I am happily remarried, my bed is OUR bed and is used more for rest, fun & love than security (but then maybe that's what security really is)...now the hot tub has become our favorite communication place. I still have talks with my kids on my bed, or their bed, but it is still a special place to me, regardless.